爱 … 被爱 … 简单 … 复杂 … 继续

有时会想 …
被一个这样的男人爱着 …
好不好？


爱上这样一个男人 …
好不好？


其实 …
我的生活真的很复杂 …


我并不知道我现在的决定 …
是对或是错 …


很迷茫 …


以前的生活确实很复杂 …
过后就平静了很久的一段时间 …


现在 …
又要回归复杂了吗？


为了逃避男人 …
我曾经把自己弄得很平凡 …


怎么说呢？
就是穿着什么的 …
都没去在意 …
能穿就好 …


现在呢 …
又慢慢开始把自己弄得漂漂亮亮了 …
一直心想 …
我要开始变美丽什么的 …


或许是那个 “他” …
以前一直都在我面前说 …
那个女生漂亮 … 这个女生漂亮的 …


让我有不服的感觉 …
真的很不服 …


难道他就不能看我吗？


以前我很会打扮 …
说吧 …
就是去到那里被搭讪到那里的那种 …


或许你会觉得我说的话很骄傲自大 …
随便你吧 …
反正我本来就是酱 …


我以前的男朋友曾经告诉我 …
可以不要穿那么美吗？


好 …


我就穿得普通一点 …


可是他却告诉我 …
你没有美丽一点的衣服吗？


哼 …
男人 …


你穿得美 …
他叫你不要穿那么美 …


你穿得普通 …
他就说没有美丽一点的衣服吗？


那次分手后 …
我真的变得穿着都很随便了 …


什么都好 …
能穿就 ok 了 …


不过自从另个男人出现又消失后 …


我 …


决定了 …


我要把自己变漂亮 …
变回以前那个我 …


不为了什么 …


就为了不服与不想继续把我自己的一切隐藏起来 …


我知道 …
其实 …
若果我要的话 …
没有什么我是不能的 …


我是谁啊 …
卡门啊我 …


信心 …
我要把你找回来 …


继续我的风格 …
继续我的高傲 …
继续我的自大 …
继续我的不驯 …

我和我 MIYAVI - sama 的
NEO TOKYO SAMURAI BLACK WORLD TOUR CDs

second last day work at noodle station ..

刺激 … 让人复活？让人疯狂？

刺激 …
能让人复活 …
还是疯狂？


对你来说 …
刺激能让你复活还是疯狂呢？


对我来说 …
复活与疯狂参半 …


刺激能让我复活 …
刺激能让我疯狂 …


没什么 …


每一次的刺激都会让我重新复活 …
每一次的刺激都会让我更加疯狂 …


复活吗？
就像我觉得自己已经躺在了棺材里 …
不过就好像所谓的尸鬼 …
突然复活了 …


可是 …
每一次的复活 …
就每一次的让我更加的行尸走肉 …
或是说 …
更加的冷血更加的高傲？


随便吧 …


说吧 …


第一次的刺激 …
“ 他 ” …
我就开始疯狂爱上钉耳洞 …


第二次的刺激 …
“ 他 ” …
我就开始越来越爱打扮了 …


我 …
疯狂的一下笑一下哭 …


我可以一下子非常的 high …
却突然说了一些话就开始哭起来 …


黑暗 …
我害怕黑暗 …


黑暗 …
有种无形的压力 …


黑暗 …
让我感受到死亡的可怕 …


我疯狂的爱上了微笑 …
我疯狂的爱上了大笑 …
我疯狂的爱上了夜归 …
我疯狂的爱上了酒精 …


虽然复活了 …
却也更加的疯狂了 …


我疯狂的爱上了工作 …
能够让我忙一整天而不休息我很高兴 …


男朋友吗？
目前还不想找 …


或许 …
就先让我疯狂多一阵子吧 …
就先让我休息多一阵子吧 …
就先让我随性多一阵子吧 …


或许哪一天 …
我会爱上你吧？


或许哪一天 …
我会忘记你吧？


那一天到底在哪一天呢？


或许很久以后吧？


忘记你 …
我一定会很痛快 …
五年了 …


五年后 …
这样的感觉还是持续着 …
就是戒不掉 …


所以 …
忘记你 …
我一定会活得更开心 …


是真的微笑 …
而不是纯粹的微笑 …


或许哪一天 …
真的在一起了 …
我会真的很开心 …


万分之一的可能性会在一起吧 …


所以 …
我还是死心了 …




最爱的雅大人 … 你永远都是最棒的了 …


><

我打算剪酱的发型然后再接发 …

assignment .. assignment .. assignment ..

yoshi ..


finally i rush finish one of my school assignment ..
phww ..


aikx ..


but ..
gonna having another assignment dead line ..


and after all the assignment ..
is exam time ..


what a life i have ..


so that's why i told my mum ..
i gonna go work first ..


after i have enough money ..
i just go study ..
that time if i study ..
i won't have so many pressure like now ..


rush for this rush for that ..


kinda pressure ..
and ..
almost die ..


and ..
just like ..
every day ..
i just keep dying .. 
dying ..
and dying ..


what the hack i live in this world ?


sometime i might think that ..


what is the reason for me to keep stay in this world ?


what for i live in this world ?


any reason ?
any excuse ?


yes ..
you may think i am emo ..


but you are wrong ..
i am just having some dark dark emotion ..


maybe dark is kinda alike to emo ..
but it is still something that different ..


and probably ..
i always living in my own style ..
living in my own feeling ..
living in my own way ..


i not really like to interact with other people ..
not really feel comfortable when talking with other ..


but i just duno why ..
i can keep smiling in front of other people ..
even that time i feel really sad ..
really worry ..
and feel moody ..


but ..


i just can't cry in front of other people ..


maybe i just can cry in front of someone i trust ..


i really trust ..




whatever ..
the world is always like that ..


strong will live .. 

kinda tired

so ..
just finish rush of assignment ..
and ..
another assignment is coming to pass up soon ..


soon having my exam ..


aikx ..


what a horribly collage life i have ..


rush for assignment ..
rush for work ..
and having some non - cooperation team members ..


suck ..


yeah ..
that's real that life is hard ..


once you want to live in this world ..
you must have to work ..


once you wish to live a more comfortable life ..
you must work as hard as you can ..


but ..
that's a rule ..
not only work hard just can get better life ..


there is no confirm on once you work hard ..
then you have a lot's of chance to getting rich ..


sometime you work hard ..
but ..
someone just frame you up ..
at the end ..
you are still the loser ..


suck huh ?


anyway ..
want to become the winner ..
is not that easy ..


not just dreaming ..
but ..
make it come true ..


once you become winner ..
you don't be too happy yet ..
cause there is still many other people that want to pull you down ..
they just same like you ..
they want to be the winner too ..


where is the winner come from ?


winner is from a tons of dead body ..
they step on tons of dead body ..
and until they reach the top ..


when the winner look down to the road he/she has go through ..
they will saw a tons of dead body been step by them ..
that is only for the target to reach the chair of winner ..


because they want to become winner ..
they are just too cold blood and not to care other feeling ..


but there have the reason too ..
why they are cold blood ..


they might be become the dead body before too ..
they might want to revenge ..
they might just want to take back the things that belong to them ..


that's what world rule ..

love the way you lie .. workaholic .. true me .. where'd you go?

i was so into the song ..


" love the way you lie "


Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because i like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because i love the way you lie


so match with my mood now ..


i like the way it hurts ..
hurts ..
may help me to forget what happen between us ..


i was slowly changing into a workaholic ..


i love the feeling of busy ..
i love the feeling of always not at house ..
i love the feeling of no time to get sleep ..
i love the feeling of i forget all things and keep working and working ..


Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone 


yes ..
you gone ..
just today ..
you've been gone ..


my mood and word are so dark recently ..


sometime may feel tired ..
need some strong and steady shoulder for me to rest on it ..
need some warm smooth hug to let me feel better ..


need a real man giving me real security ..
reliable ..
feel secure when i was with him ..


he may be a man that know many other things ..
i may be just admire him and telling he ..
you are great ..
that's way i love you ..


hahax ..
that's just a dream ..


just gonna say sorry to someone that i hurt before or now ..
know what you give me ..
but i can't pay back to what you give to me ..
just feel that you are truly a great friend to me ..


i can laugh with you ..
i can shout with you ..
i can cry in front of you ..


crazy was something i adore of ..
it's make me feel better ..
it's let me forget all my feeling ..


ya ..
i am stress now ..
but i duno how to express it out in word ..
i just hope for a real tight hug from someone ..


alcohol .. alcohol .. alcohol ..


is that make me more happy ?


i duno ..


but just hope to get it ..
maybe it may make me feel batter ?
is that real ?


i duno ..


whatever ..
just done ..


think that i must shut up and stop talking ..
stop annoy other ..


can i be the real me ?


think that answer is a NO ..


when can i just be a real me ?


when i was facing someone that i really .. truly .. fully trust on ..
my really very great best friend ..


i just wish to escape from here ..


i don't belong to here ..
take me away ..
to the unknown place that just me and you ..
somewhere that i can relax on ..


i just hope to disappear from everyone mind memory ..
just pretend i never exist in this world ..


sometime just hope to be alone ..


not to care other ..
not to be care by other ..
not to fear other ..
not to be fear by other ..
not to face other ..
not to be face by other ..


just want to be me ..
go my way ..
walk my way ..
dress my way ..
sleep my way ..
speak my way ..


yes ..
i'm weird ..
but i'm fine ..
nothing much ..
nothing less ..
just me ..


what my strong point ?
i have many weak point ..


what my weak point ?
i have many strong point ..


credit to MIYAVI - sama ..


i get learn to it ..


haha ..

black and white .. yes .. just two ..