assignment .. assignment .. assignment ..

yoshi ..


finally i rush finish one of my school assignment ..
phww ..


aikx ..


but ..
gonna having another assignment dead line ..


and after all the assignment ..
is exam time ..


what a life i have ..


so that's why i told my mum ..
i gonna go work first ..


after i have enough money ..
i just go study ..
that time if i study ..
i won't have so many pressure like now ..


rush for this rush for that ..


kinda pressure ..
and ..
almost die ..


and ..
just like ..
every day ..
i just keep dying .. 
dying ..
and dying ..


what the hack i live in this world ?


sometime i might think that ..


what is the reason for me to keep stay in this world ?


what for i live in this world ?


any reason ?
any excuse ?


yes ..
you may think i am emo ..


but you are wrong ..
i am just having some dark dark emotion ..


maybe dark is kinda alike to emo ..
but it is still something that different ..


and probably ..
i always living in my own style ..
living in my own feeling ..
living in my own way ..


i not really like to interact with other people ..
not really feel comfortable when talking with other ..


but i just duno why ..
i can keep smiling in front of other people ..
even that time i feel really sad ..
really worry ..
and feel moody ..


but ..


i just can't cry in front of other people ..


maybe i just can cry in front of someone i trust ..


i really trust ..




whatever ..
the world is always like that ..


strong will live .. 

kinda tired

so ..
just finish rush of assignment ..
and ..
another assignment is coming to pass up soon ..


soon having my exam ..


aikx ..


what a horribly collage life i have ..


rush for assignment ..
rush for work ..
and having some non - cooperation team members ..


suck ..


yeah ..
that's real that life is hard ..


once you want to live in this world ..
you must have to work ..


once you wish to live a more comfortable life ..
you must work as hard as you can ..


but ..
that's a rule ..
not only work hard just can get better life ..


there is no confirm on once you work hard ..
then you have a lot's of chance to getting rich ..


sometime you work hard ..
but ..
someone just frame you up ..
at the end ..
you are still the loser ..


suck huh ?


anyway ..
want to become the winner ..
is not that easy ..


not just dreaming ..
but ..
make it come true ..


once you become winner ..
you don't be too happy yet ..
cause there is still many other people that want to pull you down ..
they just same like you ..
they want to be the winner too ..


where is the winner come from ?


winner is from a tons of dead body ..
they step on tons of dead body ..
and until they reach the top ..


when the winner look down to the road he/she has go through ..
they will saw a tons of dead body been step by them ..
that is only for the target to reach the chair of winner ..


because they want to become winner ..
they are just too cold blood and not to care other feeling ..


but there have the reason too ..
why they are cold blood ..


they might be become the dead body before too ..
they might want to revenge ..
they might just want to take back the things that belong to them ..


that's what world rule ..

love the way you lie .. workaholic .. true me .. where'd you go?

i was so into the song ..


" love the way you lie "


Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because i like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because i love the way you lie


so match with my mood now ..


i like the way it hurts ..
hurts ..
may help me to forget what happen between us ..


i was slowly changing into a workaholic ..


i love the feeling of busy ..
i love the feeling of always not at house ..
i love the feeling of no time to get sleep ..
i love the feeling of i forget all things and keep working and working ..


Where'd you go
I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone 


yes ..
you gone ..
just today ..
you've been gone ..


my mood and word are so dark recently ..


sometime may feel tired ..
need some strong and steady shoulder for me to rest on it ..
need some warm smooth hug to let me feel better ..


need a real man giving me real security ..
reliable ..
feel secure when i was with him ..


he may be a man that know many other things ..
i may be just admire him and telling he ..
you are great ..
that's way i love you ..


hahax ..
that's just a dream ..


just gonna say sorry to someone that i hurt before or now ..
know what you give me ..
but i can't pay back to what you give to me ..
just feel that you are truly a great friend to me ..


i can laugh with you ..
i can shout with you ..
i can cry in front of you ..


crazy was something i adore of ..
it's make me feel better ..
it's let me forget all my feeling ..


ya ..
i am stress now ..
but i duno how to express it out in word ..
i just hope for a real tight hug from someone ..


alcohol .. alcohol .. alcohol ..


is that make me more happy ?


i duno ..


but just hope to get it ..
maybe it may make me feel batter ?
is that real ?


i duno ..


whatever ..
just done ..


think that i must shut up and stop talking ..
stop annoy other ..


can i be the real me ?


think that answer is a NO ..


when can i just be a real me ?


when i was facing someone that i really .. truly .. fully trust on ..
my really very great best friend ..


i just wish to escape from here ..


i don't belong to here ..
take me away ..
to the unknown place that just me and you ..
somewhere that i can relax on ..


i just hope to disappear from everyone mind memory ..
just pretend i never exist in this world ..


sometime just hope to be alone ..


not to care other ..
not to be care by other ..
not to fear other ..
not to be fear by other ..
not to face other ..
not to be face by other ..


just want to be me ..
go my way ..
walk my way ..
dress my way ..
sleep my way ..
speak my way ..


yes ..
i'm weird ..
but i'm fine ..
nothing much ..
nothing less ..
just me ..


what my strong point ?
i have many weak point ..


what my weak point ?
i have many strong point ..


credit to MIYAVI - sama ..


i get learn to it ..


haha ..

black and white .. yes .. just two ..

有种家的感觉 … 享受着忙碌的生活当中 … 心事吗？

话说我工作那里 …
虽然都是外劳 …
不过其实他们人超好 …
其他的我不是很认识啦 …


不过有一个大哥和大姐 …
常常都有一起聊天 …
他们两个都很好人哦 …


大哥其实脾气很温顺 …
有时我做错东西他也没有怪我 …
也没有生气 …


大姐呢 …
就好像是妈妈酱子呢 …
她看我今天人不舒服 …
刚才放工回家的时候还特地一直跟我说 …
你明天没有做工 …
放学后回家睡觉哦 …
不要乱乱跑了 …
不然生病就不好了 …


话说回来 …
最近还真的挺忙的啦 …
不过变态一点来说 …


我很享受这种忙的感觉 …
就是不知道为什么 …
我喜欢这种忙碌的感觉 …


自虐倾向有严重了？（笑）
还是 …
让我暂时遗忘了我的心事与压力？


话说今天在工作那里遇到个一男一女的 …
算有年纪的啦 …
就跟我说了好多话哦 …


因为其实那是别人去跟他们点餐的 …
不过那个人不会听英文 …
所以就换我去 …


结果呢 …
就跟他们聊了起来 …


其实啊 …
有时真的会遇到一些很可爱的顾客呢 …
而且他们会跟你说笑啊 …
什么的 …
就是很亲切 …


相反呢 …
有时遇到的脾气很臭 …
一点点就不爽 …
慢一点上菜就要 cancel order ..


所以呢 …
开始做工的第一天 …
我就已经习惯看到人就微笑的嘴角 …


还是无法在外人面前表达真实的自己呢 …
就算心事很多 …
背负很重 …
我还是无法表现出如此脆弱的自己 …
我还是一样用疯狂掩饰自己的脆弱 …


生病了还是硬撑 …


没事没事 …
我真的没事 …
我有事的话怎么站在这里 …


哈哈 …


真是不坦率啊 …


我其实蛮羡慕能够表达自己想法的人 …
我却完全不行呢 …


怎么说呢 …
面对人群的时候 …
我自然的变得疯狂 …


当面对我最要好的朋友时 …
我真的完全失控的表现出我的脆弱 …


erica ..
我真的很想你 …
好久没有见到你哦 …


哈哈 …


虽然告诉过 “他” …
别对我那么好 …
我会很内疚 …
我无法回报 “他” 的心意 …
希望 “他” 真的能够明白 …

或许我能说的是 …

我有喜欢的人了吧 …

怎么说呢 …

我也觉得 …

我或许不应该喜欢他 …

我们之间 …

有结局的巴仙率也只有万分之一 …

或许彼此间都不坦率吧 …

没什么 …

就当什么都没发生过吧 …

遗忘 …

是最好的选择 …

压力好大 …

心事好多 …

却不知从何说起 …

却不知有何心事 …

无法说出来的心事 …

言语表达不出来的心事 …

闷在心里 …

很辛苦 …

可是却还一副没事的样子 … 

告诉别人 …

别担心 …

我没事的 …

算了吧 …

什么都好 …

过了就是了 …

工作 …

是的 …
最近开始工作了 …
还真的有点忙 …
部落格冷清了点呢 …

现在也是在外面用着老哥的电脑写的 …
差不多每天回到家都三四点了吧 …
结果就蛮累的了 …
上线一下就关电脑了 …

话说吧 …
我现在工作的地方 …
大家都很友善哦 …
很棒 …

隔壁店的人也是哦 …

突然觉得 …
在那里工作蛮棒的 …
没有像之前的 …
要整天抢 sale …
不然就是老板整天有在 …
做工都压力到半死 …

现在的很棒 …
大家都很好沟通 …

虽然真的辛苦了点 …
每天放学通常都没有回家了 …
直接去工作那里 …
然后一直到晚上了 …

还要麻烦老哥载我去载我回 …
真的很谢谢他啊 …

感恩 …

><

不过虽然累 …
可是不用整天跟我妈妈在一间屋子 …
她少看到我也比较少生气 … 少发火 …
我少看到她也比较少压抑 … 少压力 …

至少不用听她每天念咯 …
算是一件不错的事情 …

话说星期三的时候 …
8TV 的终极天王来 gurney 试音 …

我失败了呢 …

因为太紧张了 …
结果声音一直抖 …

不过没关系啦 …
算是拿个经验咯 …

嗯 …
还有一些照片哦 …

做工的服装 … XD

8TV 的车 ~ XD

试音时 … 我拿到的号码 …

love is complicated .. so do life ..

love is complicated ..


that's true ..


so do life is complicated too ..


what i gonna say is ..
i have a good relation with my mum .. 


but ..


on the other hand ..
i have bad relation with my mum too ..


complicated huh ?


sometime ..


is really bad relation with my mum ..
sometime the relation is too good ..


it's make me want to shout out ..
WTF is this ??


i hate my mum ..
i hate my dad ..
i hate my family ..


but ..


i love my mum too ..
i love my dad too ..
i love my family too ..


whatever ..


i love myself ..
i love my talking patter ..
i love my wearing pattern ..


but ..


i hate myself too ..


depressed about ..
when you love a person ..


but ..


the person is not loving you ..


whatever ..


seem like everyone having the same feeling before ..


right ?

if i could fly away .. i wish for it ..

终于有工作了 …

好的 …


下个星期一 …
我又要开始我的打工生活了 …


超棒的说 …


因为本人比较不想呆在家 …
跟我家的那个妈妈整天你看我我看你的感觉 …


而且妈妈工作感觉好像很辛苦 …


自己去打一份工还是比较好的 …


至少零用钱不用再向她要吧 …


嗯 …
说吧 …
其实我这份工是 full time 的 …
并不是 part time 哦 …


基本上呢 …
我早上是有读书咯 …
所以我是做下午的 …


下午的呢 …
是从 三点 到 晚上了 …
可能到十二点吧？


然后呢 …
就是星期三假期 …
星期一呢 …
五点开工 …
因为啊 …
我星期一比较迟放学 …


也非常感谢大哥哥的帮忙 …
不然我看我也是 apply 不到这份工了 …


感恩丫 …


><


最近好像没什么生活照哦 …


哈哈 …


不过还是有时会随手乱拍吧 …


把自己想到的 … 想拍的 … 想纪念的都拍下来 …


最近还真的是超级的迷上了眼线啊 …
而且还是疯狂的迷上那种 …


想说 …
以后出去应该都会化眼线吧？


做工化眼线吗？
不知道哦 …
或许不会啦 …
做工化眼线的话应该会很麻烦吧？


哈哈 …


算了算了 …


不想那么多先了啦 …


照片时间 ~~~

朋友帮我拍的 …

这张是我重新 edit 过的 … 其实就是换了背景颜色还有加字而已 … 就没什么了 …

眼线啊 … 眼线 … 你真是让我中毒甚深啊 …

blog 啊 …【6】

每次不知道要放什么标题的时候呢 …
就是爱用这个 “ blog 啊 … 【x】” 来代替 …


今天呢 …
其实也没什么 …


就酱平平安安的度过今天 …


就是人累了点 …


哈哈 …


决定了吧 …
17 号 …
我要去试音 …
去看看 … 
我如果真的要出来唱歌 …
我的 level 到底到那里 …


还是大型的试音活动比较能够证实自己的实力 …


其实蛮希望那天朋友能够来支持下我 …
不过如果没有的话也没关系啦 …


自己孤身奋战也是很棒的事情 …


就看看我到底能不能入围咯 …


入围后要担心的是 …
我没歌唱 …


哈哈 …


太久没听华语歌了丫 …


还真不知道有什么歌好唱的呢 …


哎呀哎呀 ~


╮(╯▽╰)╭


还真的很爱睡啊 …


真是爱困 …


(_ _)Zzz


最近的心情还真的是阴晴不定 …
爽就心情好 …
不爽就脸黑黑 …


话说我最近有点爱上画眼线哦 …
不过基本上我的那个眼线是没有 water proof 的 …
所以化了不是很美 …


到时我就去买有 water proof 的 …
哈哈 …


把我的眼睛化的妖艳点 …


大多数男生总是爱被女生的外表骗嘛 … 
不是吗？


怎么说呢 …
最近还真有点开始疯上化妆品 …
不过还是更疯眼线 …


哎 …
我果然变了 …


哈哈 …


或许后天要去趟 prangin …
买下削眼线笔的笔削啊 …
不然不能化了 …


然后过一阵子呢 …
就要去买 water proof 的眼线 …


我会不会有一天变得很厉害化妆呢？


哈哈 …


到时如果真的一直化妆的话 …
脸色应该会很差去吧？


哈哈 …


算了吧 …


反正我懒人一个 …
能够疯上眼线 …
然后化眼线已经是奇迹了 …


化妆嘛 …
再看看吧 … 
或许有一天咯 …


哈哈 …